did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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