i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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