this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is the high leading the old right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize