using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
