ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize