I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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