At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
