i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize