did you get engaged???
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
