You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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