I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
