someone get that fucking seahorse.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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