so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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