bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
