margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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