He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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