'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
