went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
