so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
