Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
