wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
birth control should be required to get into college
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
