It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
