the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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