like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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