found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
