So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
