white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
