Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize