why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
