Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize