Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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