There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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