Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
