The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
