I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
