Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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