After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
