She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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