Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
