Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
