I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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