I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Operation Purity has been aborted
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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