You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
