moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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