You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
