dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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