I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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