think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
