Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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