Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
