Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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