someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
