perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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