your parents love me but you hate me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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