im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
