ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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