It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
