Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
