i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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