i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
