She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You are the jesus of drinking
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
