I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize