friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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