My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
