I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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