We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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